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Sometimes you just can't hold it in anymore


     OFFICIAL MICROSOFT GLITCH Bill's havin' a field day.
Technology        


Microsoft Strikes Again Following an automatic update of Microsoft's Notepad (which was not noticable for legal reasons), many web site designers have suffered from a slight glitch in the auto-initializing, auto-correcting thesarus. Namely, although it was intended to work under the constraints of human intervention (that is to say, without permission) which it succeeded at beautifully, it worked a little too well. Through a scripting error, the vocabulary database from which the thesarus gets its words, was switched from /Highsch~1 to /PostPHD. As a result, some "updated" versions of Notepad would substitute normal, brain-stimulating words into crazy 4.5 syllable words (for lack of a better definition) that even Steven Hawking couldn't understand.

Thankfully the error is limited; it can be recognized easily in such lines as, "...through the lens of his anti-humanist and ideologically-loaded maneuvers," and other such nonesense.

Notepad and Microsoft are registered trademarks of the Microsoft Corporation, © 2000.

Frederf220 on 5/25/00.



     BRANDEN These things are becoming all the rage.
Editorial        

JewNet There are a number of things I could have chosen to write about in this letter. I could have chosen to write about how vigilantism was founded on a world system of enslavement and land theft. Or I might have chosen to write something about the way that Rabbi Branden Frederick should not be allowed to operate heavy machinery, specifically, his ego. But, instead, I've decided to devote this entire letter to explaining how Branden's hatchet jobs are complete drivel. I realize that some of you may not know the particular background details of the events I'm referring to. I'm not going to go into those details here, but you can read up on them elsewhere.

However much he may deny it, he is capable of only two things, namely whining and underhanded tricks. However, we must overcome the fears that beset us every day of our lives. We must overcome the fear that he will restructure the social, political, and economic relationships throughout the entire society. And to overcome these fears, we must teach the most nutty miscreants I've ever seen about tolerance.

I can only protect the interests of the general public against the greed and unreason of sexist lummoxes if Branden's army of capricious peevish-types is decimated down to those whose inborn lack of character permits them to betray anything and everything for the well-known thirty pieces of silver. After I debate the efficacy of Branden's lazy politics, I know that everyone will come to the dismayed conclusion that I stated at the beginning of this discussion: If, five years ago, I had described a person like Branden to you and told you that in five years, he'd obliterate our sense of identity, you'd have thought me bloodthirsty. You'd have laughed at me and told me it couldn't happen. So it is useful now to note that, first, it has happened and, second, to try to understand how it happened and how if hypocritical weirdos can one day outrage the very sensibilities of those who value freedom and fairness, then the long descent into night is sure to follow. What I had wanted for this letter was to write an analysis of Rabbi Branden Frederick's declamations. Not a exhortation or a shrill denunciation, but an analysis. I hope I have succeeded at that.


McSneer on 5/24/00.



     MATT "Complaints" must be "Generated."
Editorial        

Squick.orgCongratulations to Mr. Matt J Clark for saying that public opinion is a reliable indicator of what's true and what isn't. That sincerely wins the prize for being the most incoherent and fork-tongued thing I've ever heard. But before I continue, allow me to explain that many people respond to his disrespectful accusations in the same way that they respond to television dramas. They watch them; they talk about them; but they feel no overwhelming compulsion to do anything about them. That's why I insist we present a clear picture of what is happening, what has happened, and what is likely to happen in the future. To say otherwise would be iconoclastic.

To inform you of the grounds upon which I base my generalizations, I offer the following. Appeasement is not the answer. Do I blame society for this? No, I blame Matt.

While he has a right to his opinion, his cronies accept his wretched allegations without question. I'll say that again, because I want it to sink in: His lackeys explain everything through the lens of his antihumanist and ideologically-loaded maneuvers. If anything, Matt extricates himself from difficulty by intrigue, by chicanery, by dissimulation, by trimming, by an untruth, by an injustice. Please remember that if he thinks I'm too uninformed to enlighten the mind of Man and improve him as a rational, moral, and social being, he's sadly mistaken. Certain facts are clear. For instance, there is something grievously wrong with those amoral vapid survivalists who prepare the ground for an ever-more vicious and brutal campaign of terror. Shame on the lot of them! Matt wants us to believe that he is the ultimate authority on what's right and what's wrong. How stupid does he think we are? Finally, this has been a good deal of reading, and indeed difficult reading at that. Still, I hope you walk away from it with the new knowledge that I urge you to join me in my quest to fight impolitic politicos.


McSneer on 5/23/00.



     TWELVE MORE DAYS Soon... so very soon.
Editorial        

Westmont High School
One size fits all my hiney! This blasted graduation cap is not what I would call "well enough endowed" to cater to my (apparently) enormous skull. I suppose it goes along with everything Westmont graduation gown-related. I mean, why is it that no sooner than I can pry the silly thing out of Westmont's cold, dark grasp when I realize that this nylon monster is almost certainly far too large?

Sadly, situations all over the country aren't any better.

No doubt infuriated by their insanely small cap sizes as well, four graduates of Bob Jones University were found loitering in a local South Carolina suburb. Never mind the fact that they were doing the loitering from within a collapsed shoebox of steel and plastic.

You see, on their Grad Night, they threw caution to the wind and, in the words of Westmont high school's activities office director, they chose to "...make bad choices, instead of good choices. But you should make good choices."

Yes, the words of wisdom flowed freely in today's anti-drunk driving demonstration on Westmont's backwater campus. Afterall, it's not just any ol' shmoe that can peal off the roof of a 76 POS and make it into a brand spankin' new chevy convertible. And in only half an hour to boot! But the whole ordeal kind of left a sour taste in my mouth; and no, it wasn't the heat exhastion.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the lesson that was conveyed did not neccessarily line up with what the school wanted to convey.
Below: Bob Jones Grads show off their school "pride" just hours before that fateful drive.
Bob Jones Grads, livin' it up!
Somebody get the Jaws 'a Life!
Above: "Hang on guys. You may as well stop. It's just a Yugo."

What, am I the only one who thought it was a bit anti-climactic when the dead guy under the yellow sheet got up and tried to hide behind the fire truck? Sorry, fire engine.

You can tell I was really paying attention.


McSneer on 5/23/00.


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