w2.4mg.com
Sometimes you just can't hold it in anymore


     ISRAELI AGGRESSION CONTINUES Lebanese terrorists denounce "Israeli air raids."
Nation        


Israel
This is a bit of a departure from normal w2.4mg.com fare, but I can't help myself. I just found this a bit funny as I was reading the newspaper earlier today.

The Lebanese are actually trying to complain about Israel destroying a terrorist base just on the other side of the border. Apparently, Israel became a bit peeved after Hezbollah guerillas "accidently" shot missiles into Israeli airspace for the sixth time. Well, that and the fact that the terrorists killed six Israeli soldiers within the last two weeks.

<sarcasm>Even more surprising was that the terrorist bombings were in violation of a four year old agreement between Israel and Lebanon.</sarcasm>

Those wacky Arabs. Go figure.





     THE US FLAG STANDS ALONE Westmont doesn't believe in California.
Nation        

Westmont High School
It's tradition. Westmont High School has consistently flown the California state flag underneath the symbol of our glorious Union for a great majority of its life here in the city of Campbell.

However, somewhere near the begining of this year, Westmont officials forgot just what treasury it is that their paychecks come from.

US flag blowing in the breeze.
"The US flag is all we need here at Westmont," says JROTC member.
For whatever reason, Westmont has decided to remove the Golden State's flag from the pole in front of the main office building. Why you ask?

Well, any possibilities I could throw out that would explain this blatent disrespect would be pure conjecture on my part. But perhaps it has something to do with decreased funding. And though I would never try to point fingers with speculation, maybe the STAR test results just didn't pan out for this administration.
Uh... maybe the last one is for Puerto Rico?
"...48, 49, 50, 51... oh crap."

It behooves each and every one of us to try to understand this kind of behavior. Is Westmont making some kind of nonviolent protest against the Governer's recent education funding cuts? Does Westmont now believe that the State of California doesn't have authority over the inner workings of a local high school?

In short, what are they thinking?

Ah, well. I mean, last year's flag pole was a bit crowded. What with the Union and State flags along with the distinguished school and blue ribbon garbage it was enough to choke a camel.

And that, my friends, is a feat in itself.





     NEW NICKOSLAVIAN COMPOUND DISCOVERED Nickoslavians on the run.
Nation        

Nickoslavian refuge in isolated portion of Idaho.
Nickoslavian leader roughs it again; U.S. Marshalls not giving up the chase.
Following stunning press conferences earlier this month, U.S. Marshalls served the leader of the controversial Grand and Glorious Republic of Nickoslavia a Federal court order detailing his shoddy tax records. Shocked onlookers gasped as the crazed dictator, rather than risk capture, leaped in front of a speeding city bus. As the bus came to a screeching halt, the despot made good his escape.

Onlookers stated later, "I've never seen a Dutchman run so fast."

The national guard was dumbfounded, searches of the area came up with no sign of the dictator. The scheduled raiding of the former Nickoslavian capital building Monday produced no evidence that his regime even existed. The Pentagon wondered what to do next.

All that changed yesterday. In a tell all interview, correspondents at the Nickoslavian News Network were coaxed into revealing that the Republic had moved to the remote mountains of Idaho. With new information on their side, the Marshalls have set off again, determined to capture the renegades. Whether or not the Nickoslavians will escape is unknown. One thing's for sure, however; the war continues.





     HIT RAP SONG NOT ACTUALLY RAP What ever happened to good clean gangsta's?
Entertainment        

Sacramento. It was recently discovered that a new and popular rap song by up and coming rap artist Iced Coffee was not actually a song at all.

According to reports, what happened was Coffee received a phone call in the recording studio. He then proceeded to have a loud, verbal argument with his agent, all the time while recording. Later, when splicing the songs to be released, editors mistook the recorded argument for a song.
Iced Coffee all the rage.
"Iced Coffee Rocks!" screams confused old man.

Even more surprising was that not only was the error not caught in the several weeks of editing and testing, but Iced Coffee's agent never caught wind of the error. When questioned, the agent made some off-handed comment about "not having time to listen to all the stuff I make."

Ironically, the blooper song has been on the Billboard Top 10 Rap songs for the past three weeks since the CD's release, and has been featured as top hit on many rap radio stations around the country. The song was also being considered for an all-time best rap songs collection until this discovery was made.

The song, titled Gangsta's Problems on the album, holds all the merits typical of a rap song: much swearing, talking fast, and threats of violence, all of which probably led to the mistake. The record label release stated that they will now double check the rap releases to make sure that this doesn't happen again.

Iced Coffee could not be reached for comment.

Courtesy of
Jewnet Wire Services
"Wire services with gusto"

Iced Coffee and Gansta's Problems are registered trademarks of the GDawg 'n the Boyz Record label, © 2000.



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